Snicker-Chip-Doodle Cookies

You may be wondering, what the heck is a Snicker-Chip-Doodle?

Allow me to explain.

When a Snickerdoodle and a Chocolate Chip Cookie love one another very much, they hug, and they kiss, and they fool around a little, and in 9 months 8 - 10 minutes they give birth to a Snicker-Chip-Doodle.

That's right. Cookies can get pregnant. Yay science!

Now, these cookies may not look like anything super special. However, they're addictive, and chewy, and chock full of flavor. Plus, they stay soft for eons, which is always a plus when you don't want to house 16 cookies in one day.

Not that I'll judge you if you do that. A Bitchin' Kitchen is a judgment-free zone, at least when it comes to cookie binges.

Caramelized Onion Risotto

Who here has played the game two truths and a lie?

Let's play:

Statement #1: Risotto is difficult to make.

Statement #2: Risotto is one of the most delicious foods on the planet and cooking it will impress your cat, your lover, your dentist, and your mom.

Statement #3: Onions are a miracle vegetable that taste like unicorn tears when caramelized low and slow in olive oil.

Statement #1 is most definitely a lie. Since risotto requires constant stirring for 30 minutes, it sometimes gets a bad rep for being difficult or annoying to make. To that I say, preposterous! It's so simple a child could make it. Well, a really patient child who's allowed to play with hot stoves and cook with wine.

This is my favorite version of risotto that I've ever made. As I indicated above, I'm a huge fan of caramelized onions, and could probably eat them straight from the pan and be happy. Instead of doing that, I stirred them into a cheesy risotto, and cried happy tears over my delicious plate of carbohydrates.

Yeasted Banana Sandwich Bread AND a Toasted Peanut Butter + Nutella + Banana Sandwich

Hey, remember that dummy that gave up dessert for Lent last year? Oh right, that was me.

I was shockingly successful. I think I only screwed up twice - once at a girlfriend's bridal shower, and once when I completely forgot about Lent in a fit of hunger and ate a bag of peanut M&Ms.

This year I wised up. As some of you probably know, Lent started up again yesterday with Ash Wednesday, and I was smart enough to skip the food related sacrifices. It's just too hard when you write a cooking blog.

Instead of something food related, I gave up liquor and beer. Since I'm single and childless, a lot of my social life unfortunately still revolves around drinking at bars, which will make this somewhat tricky. Fortunately, I didn't give up wine, so I'm just going to look like a fancy, fancy person at bars from now until Easter. Quit giving me the side eye. As one of my favorite Miranda Lambert songs points out, Jesus drank wine too.

On a somewhat related note, did I ever tell you guys about the time I got escorted out of church on Ash Wednesday for disruptive behavior?

I was 4, and it was during Ash Wednesday Mass with my preschool class.

For some ridiculous reason, I found it unacceptable that the ashes were not pink, proceeded to have a meltdown right there during Mass, and had to leave. I'll probably get paid back for that unfortunate episode some day. I'm sure that my future children are going to be a real treat to be around.

Let's discuss this bread now. I adore a sweet, non-yeasted, banana bread as much as the next girl. I love making them to use up overripe bananas, but wanted to do something a bit different this time. I came across this recipe on the King Arthur Flour website, and could not be more pleased with how it turned out.

On its own, this bread is soft and very slightly sweet, with a subtle banana flavor. After making this bread, I decided that it was destined for greater things than just toast, and came up with this sandwich. Take one bite, and you'll feel like Santa Claus. On Prozac. At Disneyland. Getting laid. (Maybe I should give up making Friends references for Lent instead...it has been 9 years.)

I don't know what this sandwich is. Breakfast? Lunch? A weird dessert-wich? It really doesn't matter. Go make it immediately.